Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Marriage Is No Fairy Tale

**This post may contain sponsor, affiliate, and/or referral links. I am apart of the Choosing Him Blog Tour and was given a PDF copy of Choosing Him All Over Again by Juana Mikels free of charge in exchange for this review. However, the opinions in this post are my own. For more information please read my full disclosure statement here. **

 This post is part of the Choosing Him Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with nearly one hundred other inspiring Christian bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE

The first six months or so of my husband and I's marriage was great. I loved making sure the house was spotless and the table was set for him to have dinner when he got home from the end of a hard night. I thought being married was easy! 

Then things got hard and I mean rock bottom hard for us. I had become a christian and we started having fights about everything. At first I had thought is was because I had just become a Christian but overtime I realized that that just wasn't the case. 
It was my immature thinking toward love that was the problem. 

In my mind, we were fighting and having conflicts over things that I thought just shouldn't happen! 

I thought when we got married we were supposed to live happily ever after. 
Like in fairy tales, the hard part was over and the life of bliss begins. Right? 
Haha oh how shallowly I understood love. 

Wasn't love supposed to be perfect with no conflict?

With my parents divorced when I was 7, all I had to go on for marriage was what was on television. The Bachelor and what this world said love should be easy once you got married. I thought I knew what marriage and love was all about, that when conflicts came our way it was like a slap in the face. 

With society screaming "do what feels good and flee from what doesn't" I had a history of jumping ship when things got tough. Ever since I started dating in high school I never had a relationship that lasted over a year and a half. Until my husband. You see, I am a runner and not in the physical sense. I got close to people but the moment things started getting tough I started to lace up my tennis shoes. I would throw out the words I Love You without even realizing the weight they carried, then when struggle came I was gone, onto the next thing that "felt right". I had no idea what those words meant, the way God intends for them to mean. 

It was when my husband and I started struggling (based on my feelings only) that I was forced to come face to face with my immature thinking. That love was a feeling not a choice. 
When in fact, feelings are the most unreliable things to base anything on. 

"He who trusts his own heart is a fool, 

but he who walks wisely will be delivered."

Proverbs 28:26

For a long time I blamed my marriage struggles on the fact that he was an unbeliever  and thats simply not the picture that God wanted me to have. He wanted me to choose my husband and love him for who he is, encompassing all of who he is -- the good and the bad. 

This is where Juana Mikel's book Choosing Him All Over Again  comes in. I was struggling to love my husband. Struggling to understand why my marriage was so hard, when on one of my Facebook Blogging groups there was a call for blog reviews of Juana's book Choosing Him All Over Again. 

I took a huge leap of faith and emailed with a bit of what I struggled with personally and she did not hesitate to send over her book. Along with a kind personal email expressing her prayers for me. Choosing Him is Juana's testimony of the time in her life, very early in her marriage, when she didn't feel in love with her husband and so she left. 

God used that time in her life to lead her back into a relationship, a real and tangible relationship with God and Jesus Christ. And she learns so many valuable lessons of what God's design for marriage and love was, all while being separated from her husband. God revealed that through him all things are possible, even healing a broken marriage. 

Choosing Him All Over Again is Juana's story of how God saved her marriage and more importantly saved herself from the bondage of sin. And Juana wishes to share it with you and as many people as she can so that her story, and her experience can be a lesson to everyone. Its a lesson that as wives we must all learn and it is Juana's hope that you learn it without having to go through the pain of separation like she did. 

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice."

Proverbs 12:15 
"When a mocker is punished, the simple gain wisdom;

when a wise man is instructed, he gets knowledge."

Proverbs 21:11

I know for me that Choosing Him came at the time when God wanted me to see and learn through Juana's experience. To learn that Love is a Choice and Love loves despite of how you feel or how you are treated. 
Other than in dangerous situations of course - in that instance seek help from a professional and love from afar as your significant other receives help. 

Juana's book left me feeling as if I had just finished having a sweet conversation with a friend over coffee. She has been so open and honest about what she went through that she truly mentored me in a much needed time in my marriage. 

Which has also lead me to my next stage in my walk with Christ. The desire for a Godly mentor has been placed on my heart, and I truly look forward to seeing which woman will be my mentor to help me grow deeper in my knowledge and relationship with God. 

I cannot express how much I recommend having Juana Mikel's book Choosing Him All Over Again on your nightstand. Her book touched my heart in the most powerful way and I know that it has God's wisdom and inspiration all over it. 
It will touch your heart and your marriage. That is a guarantee. 

Marriage is not a fairy tale. 
It is so much better because love is a choice.
A daily choice to choose to give up your wants for the wants and needs of your spouse. To choose to love when they do and don't deserve it just as they choose to love you when you don't' deserve it. 

A love that lasts a life time is well worth the hard work and daily choice to love.

Now head over to the Choosing Him All Over Again Blog Tour and read what the other women who read this book had to say! 

Help Your Marriage and Get Your Own Copy Today! 

Juana Mikels wrote her own story of how God saved her marriage along with practical teaching on faith and marriage written out of her own failure, pointing us all to Jesus Christ who has the power to change lives and marriages. You can get a hard copy here HERE or on Kindle HERE.


  1. That's true! Very interesting post!

  2. Wow. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your story. I pray that God continues to work through your life and that you continue spreading His love to others. Thanks again.

  3. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this!

  4. I truly wish that every engaged couple could learn that basic fact...that marriage isn't a is hard work and sacrifice! I have been there and it is hard! :) The book sounds wonderful!

    1. I could not agree with you more! I really wish this was a requirement before marriage -- marriage is tough when you don't know what to expect! It was an AMAZING book, Juana is so honest and real about her experience that it really helped me see that marriage isn't about not feeling in love, but choosing to love.

  5. Indeed, love is a choice. Sounds like you are on the right track.

    1. Thank you! It is easier said than done, but God is working on my heart to choose to be loving at all times!

  6. WOW! I was just thinking about writing a post about this today. Great minds think a like. I hope you don't mind if I write a post with the same topic?

    1. I don't mind at all! I think the more posts like this, that tell everyone about what love really is, the better! Seriously, everyone should know this when they get married I feel like it could save a lot of marriages.

  7. Waaaaw, such a beautiful message. I'm not married however I hope to be one day and the lessions that marriage is not a fairy tale is helping me to be level headed and focused for when that time comes. God bless you and thanks for sharing.

  8. This is a great post! Marriage really isn't a fairy tale but it's all about communicating and compromising.

  9. Really great post! Marriage and love is not meant to be a fairy tale. If you never have a fight, then something is wrong with your relationship. Communication is key. Thanks for the post!

  10. I am guilty of being a runner too. I have to daily remind myself that love is a commitment, a commandment and a choice and this choice needs to be made EVERY SINGLE DAY!


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