Monday, October 27, 2014

Being Unequally Yoked is a Blessing

There's a tough road that some women walk. A road that has them in the valley on a daily basis. If they do or say anything contrary to the Christian walk it could mean pushing their closest loved one away from God.

It is the long and weary road of being Unequally Yoked. 

If you grew up as a Christian, you knew that it is commanded to marry a believer. But what about the women who came to Christ after they were married? What about the ones who are unequally yoked? 

Being unequally yoked can be lonely and exhausting, including hardships that many others cannot even fathom. 

But Dear friends who are married to unbelievers, 
you are not alone and your situation is a blessing from the Lord. 

Yes, I too am married to someone who doesn't believe. I am in the trenches with you, attempting to bring Christ's love to the man I hold so dear. 

Before my husband and I were married, I was not a follower of Christ. Six months into our marriage, God placed it on my heart to truly give my life to him. Little did I know the havoc it would reap on my marriage. 

The Devil doesn't care about your marriage until you choose to follow Christ, then it's like placing a large red target on your back. 

Satan attacked my thoughts, placing things in my mind that were not of God. Why do I always have to sit alone at church? Why can't I have a husband like (insert friends from church name here.) If only I had married a follower of Christ. I wish I never married him because it would be easier if I was with a believer. 

Trust me, the words that came out of my mouth because of these thoughts were not loving or an example of the love of Christ. It wasn't until this year that Christ has opened my eyes to the blessings of being unequally yoked. 

1. Being Unequally Yoked is a blessing because it strengthens your foundation in Christ. I have to defend my faith a few times a month to my husband. Nothing strengthens your faith more than having to defend it because if you have to defend it, you have to know what you are talking about.

But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.
Matthew 10:33

2. Being Unequally Yoked is a blessing because you are forced give everything to Christ. By becoming a Christian you have to place all of your trust, worries, your husband, everything into Christ's hands. You also have to be willing to loose everything for Christ. Our husbands could say, you are not who I married I am leaving, but we must trust God.

In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.
Luke 14:33

3. Being Unequally Yoked is a blessing because God uses it to refine our character to be like Christ. Christ loves us regardless of how we treat him and this is how he commands us to love our unbelieving spouses and neighbors. (1 Corinthians 13:4-13). God is teaching us how to truly love through being married to an unbeliever. Because it is not through our words that will convince them, but through our actions of being truly changed.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.
1 Peter 3:1 

4. Being Unequally Yoked is a blessing because God does not make mistakes. God has given you this path and specifically your husband because he has a plan for you and your husbands life. He wants to change you, help you grow in Christ, and to try to bring your husband closer to God. What better way to do that than through the closest most important woman in his life? 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

If we stop looking at our marriages as thorns in our sides and start seeing it as a blessing than we can start showing our husbands the love of Christ that they so desperately need. Our actions are going to be the only Bible they read. So ladies, lets give our husbands to Christ and start focusing on showing them Christ's love.


  1. I've needed to hear this. My husband is wonderful but not a believer and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, stop letting Satan get in my head and see my situation as a blessing. A complete attitude adjustment is in order....not to let God work that in me.

    1. I am so glad that God used this post to touch your heart. I definitely believe that if we change our perspective of our situation that our attitude toward our husbands during the hard times will change!

  2. I am of the Jewish faith, but I knew how important it was to marry someone with similar beliefs. I can't imagine how difficult it may be to marry someone who is not on the same page as you spiritually. Thank you for being so open and sharing!

  3. It's never really been an issue for my husband and I and we probably have more of a stable marriage of any "equally yoked" people that I know. We simply respect each other and even if we have different views on life. We value our vows that we took 18 years ago as of yesterday :)

  4. I'm also unequally yoked. My husband doesn't believe in God (even though he claims he does to a point.) I can really say that this post made me look at things from a different perspective.

  5. I imagine it can be difficult, but in the end it'll only make you stronger !

  6. We both believe in god and know he his responsible for all the great things in our lives.

  7. I have not had to deal with this issue in my marriage, as my husband and I are almost eerily always like-minded; I do applaud you for finding the benefit in a situation where you focus on the negative instead, which is always a great lesson to others.

  8. Tara Joy, thanks for sharing this post so sweetly and poignantly. I'm sure many will benefit from your wise words and attitudes. Go gently, Amy

  9. Thank you for your thoughtful perspective--I think sometimes people who think they are both Christians think they are 'equally yoked' when in reality, one may have a closer relationship with God and the other one may be more of a nominal Christian. Whatever the case, the blessings you list are ones that all of us should pay attention to! Thanks for linking up at Inspire Me Mondays!

  10. Thanks for being so open and honest in this post! My parents fall into this category, and I grew up seeing this scenario play's still the case with them today, years later. I like the reason you gave last the best.....nothing we do is a surprise to God, and he's got us, always.

  11. I think marriages have peaks and valleys and whether it's the subject of religion or politics there are going to be things you don't agree about. It's most important to respect your partners beliefs even if they aren't your own. I applaud you for seeing the positive in the situation because that can be so hard especially when you see other people who seem ( and I'd like to reiterate SEEM) to have it all together. Plus I really don't need to agree about everything with my partner, it's always healthy to have someone who keeps you on your toes :) Thank you for your openness!

  12. Another blessing of being unequally yoked is that you know and can expect some ridicule for your faith. When married to a believer who ridicules you when no one is looking is confusing and unexpected. Our only choice is to cry to Jesus and He is more than faithful to supply our need. He experienced this when the Church rejected Him. You're not alone!

  13. Thanks Tara. It takes courage to write something like this. I WAS a believer when I married my unbelieving husband. It WAS very hard! I'd nag him to come to church with me. I'd talk to him about God.
    I remember driving home one afternoon and I was passing through our one and only stoplight in town and God spoke to my heart. He told me that I should not worry that He was going to 'gt' my husband and when He did, He would 'get him good'". That was 13 years ago. And 5 years later, God fulfilled His promise to me. My hubby made Jesus Lord of his life. He has such an amazingly strong faith. One that could never happen with me just pestering him to join me at church.
    Keep praying and trusting God! He will answer your prayers!


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