If you haven't read Part 1 and 2 of the Comparisons Series check them out here:
It happens every time I see the exciting news on Facebook, photos plastered all over my new feed of the brand new Husband and Wife on their wedding day. The groom handsomely donning his tuxedo and looking with tears in his as his gorgeous bride walks toward him in her perfect wedding dress. Professional photos capturing all of the love and romance that surrounds.
I look at all of these photos and instead of being overwhelmed with joy for the happy couple, I get twinges of envy, jealousy - things not of the Lord in my heart.
Don't get me wrong I am so happy for these newlyweds but I never had that moment. I never had the wedding with the perfect dress, though I have it, surrounded by those we love most, telling the whole wide world that we commit our lives to each other. I don't have beautiful wedding photos to hang on the wall or memories of dancing blissfully, joy and love flowing on our wedding day.
Instead of jumping for joy,
I compare what I didn't have with what they were able to have, which only hurts myself.
To be honest here, I do believe that the world has set expectations for couples as to how a wedding, and the events that surround is supposed to be.
Societies Sequence of Wedding Events:
1. The guy is supposed to buy the most expensive engagement ring.
2. Plan the most elaborate proposal.
4. Spend 6 months to 2 years planning the wedding.
5. Get married and have a reception in the most picturesque setting.
6. Drive off into the night as husband and wife on their way to their 7 day vacation honeymoon.
Am I wrong? Do you feel like these are the unspoken expectations laid on young couples of today?
There is a specific order to things and if you don't follow that order the comparison trap is an inevitable possibility.
At least it has been for me.
I would have loved those memories, but if I push passed all of the superficial things, the wedding and events, whats left is the most important thing of all - the Marriage.
Though we didn't have the fairy tale wedding, we did make the most meaningful and important commitment of our lives and I don't regret that for a moment. And if I had to choose an amazing wedding or marrying my amazing husband - I would do the exact same thing and marry my best friend - committing myself to him for the rest of my life.
I was listening to a Joyce Myers Sermon this week and she said something that really struck me:
"If you pray about it God is big enough to make it happen."
If it was in Gods plan for a big wedding, it would have happened because he is big enough to make it happen. If it didn't happen than it wasn't a part of the plan at the moment. (Because I personally would still love a wedding, so I am not giving up hope!)
I may not have had the dream wedding, and maybe some day I will, but I will not allow my comparisons to kill my joy in myself and in my marriage.
The overal message of the past few comparisons posts
is that comparison kills our joy and instead of comparing we should look to God and be ever grateful for everything that He has blessed us with.
Have you done things differently than what society says? What has God blessed you with?