Monday, November 17, 2014

Comparisons Part 2: Stop Comparing My Body to Yours.

If you haven't read Part 1 of the Comparisons Series check them out here:



I got a comment about a month ago that struck me, "Well you are just skinny as always". 
It is something that I hear all of the time and I know people don't mean for it to have any sort of effect but I promise you it does. 



Yes I am skinny, but I would trade skinny for healthy any day. You see, I am 5 ft nothing and I weigh between 83 and 86 lbs. You're probably wondering, what is wrong with that???

The problem is that 4 years ago I went from being healthy and no problems with how I was feeling to dropping 15 lbs and being constantly sick. (Read about it more on my post Letting Go of Control)

I may be skinny ladies but I battle with constantly getting sick, having debilitating migraines, nausea almost every single day, and I never know when something I eat is going to make me sick and then not be able to eat for days. (Though there are things I avoid like spice, grease etc to try to be proactive, but something I ate once and was fine may not hit me as well the next time)

It is scary, and frustrating to be up all night being sick from food your body rejects, and then weigh yourself and find you are now 3lbs lighter when all you want to do is gain weight to feel better.


When I got pregnant with my son I gained my weight back and I can tell you I felt the best I have ever felt because I wasn't underweight. I thought maybe just maybe I would be able to have my son and not loose the weight again. I would feel better again. Unfortunately that didn't happen. So here I am fighting an uphill battle of trying to gain weight and trying to be healthy.

So when I hear, well you are just as skinny as ever, or you need to eat some more, or lucky you, you don't have to worry about what you eat, I scream on the inside because I would give anything to go one day without any symptoms or health problems whatsoever.


I promise you, just because I am skinny does not mean that I do not have problems with my body. And yes this includes body image issues as well as physical, I have had my fair share of thoughts about my body - I mean people have often looked at me and thought I was 14, not 24. And I too have stood in front of the mirror pointing out my problem areas. 

I have also looked at other woman and wished I was as pretty, beautiful or as well dressed as them.

I am not asking for sympathy here but I am asking for you to stop comparing yourselves, your weight, your life against what you assume to be true. 

Because in reality what we assume is not usually the case at all. Every woman, no matter what size or place in life can be insecure or have problems with their own body and it doesn't help when we are constantly bringing them up with comments, or thoughts of I wish I was their size or as happy as them.


For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand-- when I awake, I am still with you.
Psalm 139:13-18 (emphasis is mine)

Instead of desiring to have the body of someone else we should be joining together, loving each other for who each other are, the real inner soul of each other, not wishing that we had each others outer shells that will indeed fade.


Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30


God made our bodies, and they are beautiful because of that -- not because society says only this body type is beautiful. 



I do my best to be gracious and accept it as it was meant, just a compliment or passing comment but I would give anything for us to get past our size, how we look and just look at the person inside and their struggles and love them through it all.

We need to show everyone the love and acceptance of who they are regardless of size or circumstance because they are daughters and sons of Christ too.


So join me ladies, just STOP comparing yourselves physically with other woman because they have a different body type then you. God made you unique, just as he has made every other woman's body unique. And remember that just because we are all different doesn't mean we don't have any problems or struggles.









photo credit: sokiara via photopin cc photo credit: bianca carmo via photopin cc

27 comments:

  1. So many of us need to hear this and have it resonate. We equate healthy will skinny or thick depending on the person judging. We should always move toward optimal health for our size and height and it should be based on one's personal conviction.

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    1. Exactly! Everyones healthy is different and everyones body is their one not one is the same!

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  2. People should think before they speak. I was tiny as a pre-teen and teen (tall but skinny) and I got a lot of grief for it. People didn't understand that that hurts just as much as making fun of someone who is overweight!

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    1. Yes it really does! A lot of people don't see the problem in making comments to woman who are skinny!

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  3. Hey Tara!
    Thanks for sharing such a personal post! The issue of body image is something that all people deal with to some degree.....even men, although they don't always like to admit that they care about it! I struggle with this too, but on the flip side - always wanting to lose weight......been dealing with it for years. Thank you for the reminder that God made us and love us as we are, and that this shell is not what is most important to him! Love you, friend!

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    1. We are all made in Gods likeness so there is no reason to wish for anything different! :)

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  4. This so speaks to me! I am 5'0" as well, and have always been thin. I've heard many of the same things as you have, I know how painful it can be. I have heard more comments lately referring to "real women" having curves etc, but the verbiage that says we should all be curvy just seems to perpetuate the same problem that says being skinny is the only way to be acceptable. Another issue that us skinny girls have is others thinking that we are thin intentionally, but because we're thin doesn't mean we don't eat, it's genetics. How about we just all accept each other for who we are and not relegate anyone to being second class? Great post!

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    1. I have heard the "real woman have curves" and definitely have felt the pain! I understand they are trying to change the thinking that all woman need to be thin, but thin woman are woman too! I just don't understand why everyone gets so wrapped around having the "perfect" body be modeled by someone other than themselves. It should be everyone should love "their own perfect body".

      Yes! Its like we had a choice in being skinny, I definitely don't have a choice because no matter what I eat my overachieve thyroid just goes to town!

      If we could all just get passed our physical appearance I think we would be able to just accept each other for who we are than what we look like!

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    2. It is also crazy to me that our culture deems one type of body to be perfect, how can that be? I even read an article that talked about the different standards of beauty around the world, and what is considered beautiful in the States might not be in another country. It's sad how a one size fits all standard gets perpetuated. Believe me, I have on many occasion selected my food based on what had the most calories, I figured get the most calories I can in one sitting. It has always been so challenging keeping the weight on, and the things people have said to me are shocking. I read an article, I'll link it here, it has a little language in it, but it really speaks to this issue...http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/05/this-ones-for-my-skinny-sisters/

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  5. Thanks for sharing! It's a good reminder that we never know what someone is dealing with - it's easy to make assumptions but we don't always know the true story.

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    1. Is SO easy to make assumptions, I know I still have to fight my mind because I can get in the habit of thinking that other woman have it all together and are so much more beautiful than me! It is good to take the time to remind ourselves that everyone has their own struggles!

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  6. Great post. It's so hard to remember that you never really know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes. Being sick is the worst feeling in the world, so my thoughts are with you. Sometimes people just don't realize what they're saying :(

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    1. Yes a lot of people don't realize that they hurt people when they say that. And most of them are trying to be nice so I just let their comments roll off of me, but its so important to think about what the other person may be going through before saying anything.

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  7. Great reminder. We body shame ourselves as much as we body shame others. I hope this helps some people feel better about themselves so we don't have to put each other down.

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    1. That was my exact reasoning of this post :) So that we can remind ourselves to lift each other up and not worry about size!

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  8. I don't think anyone should make a comment about anyone's body. We just need to all support each other and stop worrying so much what everyone looks like.

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  9. I hate when people judge others because of their weight. We have no idea what is going on in each woman's life that contributes to her appearance.

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  10. I see saw with this about myself. There are days where my confidence is great, and then others where I am almost depressed. Then I have to remember whose am I? I am HIS. He made me, and my body just the way it was suppose to be. To birth 4 babies, and nurse them, to take care of my family with good health, and to serve Him. Thank you for this reminder. :)

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  11. It is easy to assume someone who appears to be the opposite of what we dislike on ourselves has everything we could ever want. we need to remember that the grass is always greener, and no one's walk is as easy as it may appear.

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  12. I was a waif growing up, and I always hated the "you're so skinny comments". We hear so much about fat-shaming, but people ignore the comparisons and comments on the other side of the spectrum. Society needs to remember that it's exactly that - a spectrum, which is only complete with people of all different shapes and sizes.

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  13. "God made our bodies, and they are beautiful because of that." You are so right--it's a truth we all need to remember whenever we're tempted to compare ourselves and come up short. You are also so right that we can never really know someone else's struggle just by looking at them. We assume all is well, when they may be facing huge challenges. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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  14. People feel too comfortable sharing their opinions before taking the time to consider what may be going on.

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  15. Thank you for helping us be better people to one another, for helping us think before we speak.
    I pray blessings of health, healing and well-being over you and your body. By his stripes you are healed!
    Peace, Jody

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  16. I agree too. I hate those types of comments.

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  17. Tara, I can understand where you are coming from. At 4'10" I have struggled with some of the same issues. I know people are usually speaking out of their own hurt when they make such comments, but sometimes it would be nice if they stopped and thought about what they can't see and how their words cut. I'm truly sorry for the suffering you have endured.

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  18. I sometimes struggle with comparing my body to others. i have full hips, a bum and a larger chest and the majority of my friends are so skinny! So i find myself comparing myself to them and trying to diet harder because I want to be skinnier. But I need to remember God made me just as he likes, and that it is not the flesh that matters, but the spirit!

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  19. Tara Joy, My heart goes out to you. You really wrote this from your heart. Thanks for choosing to be vulnerable. By the way, I help people who struggle as you are struggling so check me out and let's get connected. I would love to see God move you into a healthy state once again. Go gently now, Amy Hagerup

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