I saw a tweet on my Twitter feed from a teenage girl who had just received a purity ring from her father.
This is my open letter to her.
A month or so ago I saw your tweet about getting your purity ring, I was so inspired and in awe by that that I decided to write you a letter of encouragement.
Congratulations! Wearing a purity ring and making that commitment is a huge and honorable decision! I commend you for going against this worlds social norms of "pregnancy pacts" and the hook up culture for following Gods' command to be pure. You have just made a commitment to receive blessings far greater than premarital sex will give you.
You have made a decision that will alter your life for years to come.
For good and for bad.
For good because you have chosen to wait to engage in something that God meant for marriage, when it is a normal occurrence among teenagers who don't fully understand the emotional ramifications of their actions.
(As well as the physical -- but those are discussed and shoved down your throat from 6th grade Health class on, so I don't think I need to mention those.)
For good because you will be able to stand up on your wedding day and know you do not carry the emotional baggage that gets added on after each break up of a relationship that went too far.
That you have saved the most precious gift for you and your husband alone to share.
For good because you will know wholeheartedly that he respects you, your body and your choices which is true love. This gives you an incomparable level of trust you need to start a healthy marriage.
For good because you won't look back and regret or wish you had done that aspect of your life differently.
For good because you will learn to stand up for what you believe is right, staying true to yourself and not following what others deem "cool" and "acceptable".
For good because you will know in your heart that you obeyed God's word and don't have to struggle with the shame that is tied with knowing you hurt God when you could have obeyed him. (God will forgive you if you do, but Satan loves to remind you of your mistakes)
Though there are an abundance of amazing blessings that come with staying pure until marriage, I must be honest with you. Now that you have made that choice, you have opened yourself up for some difficult struggles.
I tell you this so that you may prepare yourself to combat them. The pure, and God fearing road is not a road well traveled anymore. And making a public statement that you choose God and purity will give Satan a target to aim his game. The ugly game of temptation, self-doubt and peer pressure.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8
Just like Jesus, you will be tempted. But unlike Jesus, we are not sinless. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)
Satan will try and put you in situations that could lead you down the wrong path and it is YOUR job to protect yourself from them. Be proactive in preventing situations to even occur.
Ways you can protect yourself:
- Always establish your boundaries verbally to your parents, person you want to date, and his parents. Try to keep an open and honest dialogue before you even consider dating. It may be awkward at first, but eventually it will become comfortable.
**And remember: If you have any thought of needing anything to be a secret, from anyone, it is not from the Lord. Satan wants to keep you in the dark, and that’s where secrets lie, but with Jesus he wants everything to be in the light.**
- Have someone else go along on dates with you and the guy you want to date to create accountability, as well as avoiding situations where its easier to be pressured - like it just being you and him. If you have a third party or multiple people with you those situations can't happen.Yes, that is very Duggar Family of me to suggest but they've been able to do it right with their kids -- staying pure until the wedding by being proactive rather than reactive. Take it from me who didn't have Godly people like the Duggar's to look up to and had no knowledge of how to guard my heart while I was growing up.
You will also question if what you are doing is right because people will probably tell you that they think what you are doing is strange or prude. People will persecute you for being different, they did it to Christ and they will do it to you.
But! By standing firm in your faith and beliefs the more courage and strength you will gain to keep going. And you can only do this with practice, you must practice saying no to people especially if you are a people pleaser like me. The more you have a backbone about what you think is right, the easier saying no will be.
On top of being proactive, and standing firm in your beliefs, you must be in your Bible daily. Because the closer and stronger the relationship you have with Jesus Christ the easier it will be for you to know a good situation from a bad one.
You are making a courageous, life changing, bold and difficult decision, and all of the struggles that you may face in guarding your heart by keeping yourself pure will be nothing compared to the blessings that you will receive from loving Christ and obeying God.
I encourage you to stand firm and do not back down no matter how many times you are tempted. Because it will be so worth the wait!
To the unmarried ladies who think that its "too late" for them:
It is never too late to commit your purity to Christ until your wedding day. It is never to late to change your mind. Satan will try and convince you that it is much too late to be born again, to be pure again. But it is a LIE. You can! All you have to do is commit yourself to Jesus and say NO and Stand Firm! Any man who is worth keeping will wait for you if you so choose! If they don't respect that choice, let them leave because they are not the men God would like them to be.